Trophy Child: Saving Parents from Performance, Preparing Children for Something Greater Than Themselves by Ted Cunningham

Author:Ted Cunningham [Cunningham, Ted]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Ted Cunningham, Young and in Love, Relationships, Parenting, Trophy Kids, Milestones
Publisher: David C. Cook
Published: 2012-08-31T23:00:00+00:00

2. Paul Lee Tan, Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations, #4174 (Rockville, MD: Assurance Publishers, 1998), 960.

3. Howard Hendricks, source information unknown.

4. Kristofor Husted, “Can Frequent Family Dinners Help Teens Resist Drugs?” Shots: NPR’s Health Blog, September 22, 2011, www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/09/22/140705512/can-frequent-family-dinners-help-teens-resist-drugs?ps=sh_stcathdl.

Chapter 6

Kids Who Follow Jesus

God has only one love language.

A love language is simply the way we give and receive love. My wife’s love languages, for example, are acts of service and quality time. Amy feels loved when I load the dishwasher, start the dryer, and make the bed. She loves her family and connects with her kids by going nonstop and serving us from sunrise to sunset. The absolute best way for the kids and me to connect with my wife is to serve her in the same way.

How do we connect our children to God? What is God’s love language? Worship? Prayer? Singing? Reading His Word? All of these disciplines are good, but they are secondary to God’s primary love language. Do we teach our children these spiritual disciplines, hoping our kids will connect with God once they leave home?

To answer that question, we must know how God gives and receives love. John 3:16 answers the question of how God shows love: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son.” God showed us love by giving us His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins.

Followers of Jesus know that God is the Author of our salvation. When you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart, you are saved (Rom. 10:9–10). We know what it means to receive love from God, but we offer many different answers to the question of how God receives love from us. Connecting with God has nothing to do with your preferences, personality, denominational practices, or doctrine. Connecting with God is not as mystical as we make it.

There is only one way we show God love—as I said, He has one love language. Jesus clearly identified His Father’s love language when He said,

Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.…

If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me. (John 14:21, 23–24)

In short, Jesus is God’s love language.

When we love Jesus and observe all that He taught, we show the Father love. When we love Jesus and keep His commands, we connect to the Father. Jesus did nothing without His Father. God sent Jesus, who received authority from His Father. If you want your children to know God, they must know Jesus intimately. Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

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